6 Myths of Therapy
β¨SPILLING THE TEA ON COMMON THERAPY MYTHS β¨
For those of you who have not heard this term that 80% of my teen clients are using & donβt feel like looking it up on urban dictionary: βSpilling the teaβ = sharing some juicy info. So on that note, welcome to TEA TIME.ππ»
I feel some responsibility to correct the myths Iβve heard out there about therapy in efforts to demystify it for people a bit. Below Iβll address the 6 most common myths I keep hearing. If there are any that you would like me to add and share my perspective on, comment them below!
Myth 1: Therapy is only for traumatic experiences or people with serious issues.
Whoβs the gatekeeper that gets to decide what qualifies as traumatic or serious? Life is subjective & invalidation is not cool. Yes, please seek therapy if you have been through a traumatic experience, have a mental health diagnosis, or are seriously struggling. But ALSO seek therapy if neither of those apply to you & youβd like to become a more developed, more aware, and in-touch human. Very few people have it all figured out. Those who believe they do, are often the same ones that could benefit from therapy most. Therapy is a process of self-reflection and insight. If you feel like that wonβt benefit you, then there are probably things youβre afraid to face. Those same things tend to make their appearance (either subtly or obviously) in your life & relationships. Since I preach that therapy is for everyone, of course I have a therapist too. If I didnβt, it would make me a hypocrite. Good therapy requires the therapist to continuously do their own work & Iβm committed to that. The myth above is a hugeeee reason that mental health stigma still exists. The truth is, if people sought counseling in efforts to prepare, prevent, and cope more healthily in their everyday lives, there would be a lot less cleaning up to do. This is the idea behind modern mental health: Prevention. You deserve greater self-understanding, deeper relationships, meaning, purpose, and direction. We ALL do. β¨
Myth 2: βMy therapist will tell me parents everything I say.β
β§Attention teen clients, who are totally freaked out about thisβ§
I make sure to discuss confidentiality in our VERY. FIRST. SESSION. (So weβre all on the same page). If youβre under 18, your parents do have rights to your health information. BUT I like to explain to parents that if they are making the effort to bring you to therapy, are paying for your therapy, and/or want you to feel healthier, better, etc., then they should not be asking me personal questions about your sessions. Itβs disrespectful of your privacy and disruptive of the therapeutic process. If there is something I feel your parents should know because itβs essential to supporting your progress, weβll talk it over first. If youβre over 18, you donβt need to worry about this. I technically canβt even confirm to your parents that you are a client of mine unless you have signed a release of information form for me to speak with them. The only exceptions to breaking confidentiality are if you are in serious danger, plan to hurt yourself, or tell me that you plan to hurt someone else. When this is the case, I still only release information relevant to the safety issue, which does not include unrelated personal details about our sessions. For therapy to work, you have to trust me and feel safe sharing. I understand that if you wanted your parents to know everything, you would tell them. But maybe we can get to a point in our work together where you feel good about sharing more with them yourself. #goals.
Myth 3: The idea that people might freak out their therapist.
To put it plainly, Iβm really hard to freak out. Chances are, the things you think might freak me out, are the things that will actually STRENGTHEN our work together. A lot of times, after a really powerful βahaβ moment, the client leaves the session way more freaked out than I am haha. Iβm willing to bet that if freaking out your therapist is a concern in your mind, that youβve had some judgmental people in your life, and donβt need another. β¨Therapy is differentβ¨Part of the training to become a therapist is learning how to develop unconditional acceptance for your clients. Itβs a necessary component of a healing relationship, so you can rest assured that Iβm listening from a place of interest & acceptance. Iβve heard a lot of stories. I recognize that it takes courage & vulnerability to share. Vulnerability is a change agent and requires trust. Itβs what will make therapy so worthwhile to you. Weβre learning from each other & navigating things together, so If I were to be βfreaked out,β it would hinder that process. So with that said, I invite you to try to freak me out. To get vulnerable. To trust me. And to make some serious therapeutic gains.
Myth 4: If you have real friends, you donβt need a therapist.
Your friends might love you, but they donβt make good therapists.
Hereβs why:
β¨Friends donβt have the extensive training to keep their judgement in check when it comes to what youβre going through.
β¨Itβs a supportive norm for friends to agree with you just to make you feel better. Thatβs not always a good thing. Therapists will be honest.
β¨Friends might try to advise you in ways that fit their beliefs & morals regarding how life should be lived (which might be totally off base for you). A therapist will be accepting & objective.
β¨Friends arenβt bound to confidentiality. Therapists are. You donβt have to worry that what you say in confidence will be repeated to the wrong person or become gossip.
β¨Your friends donβt have years of training in counseling under their belt. And even if they did, theyβd still have bias. There are good reasons why therapists canβt treat friends or family members.
Itβs good to have great friends. Itβs also good to have a great therapist. AT. THE. SAME. TIME. ππ»ππ½ππΎ
Myth 5: All therapy is the same.
Therapy isnβt one-size-fits-all. And thank goodness, because if youβve ever bought anything labeled βone size fits all,β youβve probably discovered that you were lied to & it actually fits terribly. π€·π»ββοΈAnytime a personβs needs are lumped into one type, shape, size, or category, it eliminates the opportunity to speak to their individual experience. But thatβs a vital component of successful therapy. It has to be tailored to you. Therapy on TV is usually portrayed in a pretty Freudian light. Meaning the therapist is sitting quietly in a chair & taking notes on a clipboard as the client vents. Thatβs definitely not for everyone. More modern approaches including CBT, EFT, DBT, EMDR, etc., can look & feel A LOT different.
They can be:
More casual
More interactive
More solution-focused
More conversational
More educational
More exploratory
β¨YOU get to decide.β¨
If youβre not sure what all of those letters above mean, letβs chat more about what youβre looking for & which type of therapy best matches your needs. Leave a comment below & Iβll explain!
Myth 6: Therapists can read minds.
If I had a dollar for every time this exact conversation happens....ππ»
β¨I meet a new person.
New person: So, what do you do for work?
Me: Iβm a therapist.
New person: Cool! I went to one once when I sprained my knee.
Me: Iβm actually not a physical therapist. Iβm a psychotherapist, so more focus on mental health vs. physical.
New person: OHHH! π³ Wow. So then youβve been reading my mind this whole time.
Me: (To myself) π€¦π»ββοΈ.
Therapists arenβt psychic. It would be super cool to have psychic powers, butttt I donβt. However, I might be able to predict your future with a little more accuracy than the average person. Iβve heard a lot of stories & witnessed patterns in the way things play out. Part of my job is to study & research those patterns. Then apply evidence based treatment methods to steer you in the direction you prefer to go. I wonβt say the βrightβ direction because your right might not be mine, and THATβS COMPLETELY OK. So no, I canβt read your mind. I donβt have psychic powers. But through therapy, YOU can take way more power over your own future. ππ»